We are often frustrated with our prayers. How often do we pray for something, but do not receive what we ask? How many times does that unsatisfying feeling of abandonment and frustration tingle in our minds. We might think God is ignoring us, or at least does not hear our plea.
The problem is that we are seeing matters in our point of view, not God's. The reality is much deeper than what we sense, and is equally much more beautiful. We can not fully comprehend the mind of God. We turn to metaphors to even scratch the surface of God's greatness.
Imagine a mother and her child. The child must eat, obviously, and oftentimes the child wants something it should not eat. For example, a child might want ice cream and cookies for dinner. We have all felt this way at one time or another. Even those whose deserts were more nutritious fare (fruit or what not) have desired tasty treats over the comparatively dull dinner. The mother, on the other hand, knows what is good for the child. Even a bowl of fruit should be supplemented by other, more well-rounded meals. Rather than offering the child cookies and ice cream, the mother gives the child vegetables.
This is not what the child wanted.
The child protests, complains, and if it is old enough, says the mother doesn't love him/her. It is a battle to rival that of Lepanto or Gettysburg. But the mother does not give in to the whines of the child.
Is the child right? Does the mother not love the child? Of course she does. She is showing her love through the healthy dinner. She has provided what the child needs at that time, in order to help the child grow. The child does not see why the mother is serving such a disgusting meal. It is beyond his or her understanding.
But there is a greater reason.
That's how it is with God and us. We are the children of God, and he is the provider. We turn to him for nourishment, both bodily and spiritually. We more often than not ask for desert, when the Lord offers us dinner. We do not see how the bitter taste will help us in the long run, but God knows. All that we are, and all that we can be He knows, and He, like the mother, knows what's best.
That being said, one must remember that this is a metaphor. It is not exact. Don't call God "Mother," just as you wouldn't call your own mother "God." Perhaps "Father" might be replaced for "Mother" in the metaphor, but a "Mother" should never replace the "Father."
About Me
- Ibid
- I was born, I'm currently living, and will eventually die. After that I face my judgment, and we'll talk then.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Cryptozological claim proven?
Welcome to another Cryptozoology post. This time it has nothing to do with Montauk Monsters or some other thing washed up on a beach. It has to do with giant birds. Freaking huge birds, to be more accurate.
I heard about this in this article. How could you possibly resist reading an article like that? Anyway, the article is a scientific one, not a "what if" one, which gives it an air of credibility. However, the story made me think of one thing: Thunderbirds.
Not Thunder Cats. Thunderbirds. And I'm not talking about cars either.
Thunderbirds are, according to the legends, large flying birds that fly before thunderstorms. Native American legends have them as the explanation for thunder and lightning. For those of you into Pokemon, Zapdos (from the original 151 set) is based on this legend of a Thunderbird.
Another part of the legend is that these giant birds would swoop down and eat people, specifically small children. This appears in the Native American accounts, as well as the accounts from the Maori legends. On July 25, 1977, two thunderbirds reportedly swooped down and tried to carry of a ten-year old boy who was playing in the yard with his friends. Between his struggling and his mother's yelling, the bird dropped the boy and flew away. Similarly large birds have been sighted in different parts of the world for centuries.
There may be a link between the legends of the Native Americans and the legends of the Maori. More investigation is needed into the thunderbird legends and similar legends throughout the world, but this recent is more evidence that dismissing claims of "primitive" groups of people is not only mean, it is also bad science.
I heard about this in this article. How could you possibly resist reading an article like that? Anyway, the article is a scientific one, not a "what if" one, which gives it an air of credibility. However, the story made me think of one thing: Thunderbirds.
Not Thunder Cats. Thunderbirds. And I'm not talking about cars either.
Thunderbirds are, according to the legends, large flying birds that fly before thunderstorms. Native American legends have them as the explanation for thunder and lightning. For those of you into Pokemon, Zapdos (from the original 151 set) is based on this legend of a Thunderbird.
Another part of the legend is that these giant birds would swoop down and eat people, specifically small children. This appears in the Native American accounts, as well as the accounts from the Maori legends. On July 25, 1977, two thunderbirds reportedly swooped down and tried to carry of a ten-year old boy who was playing in the yard with his friends. Between his struggling and his mother's yelling, the bird dropped the boy and flew away. Similarly large birds have been sighted in different parts of the world for centuries.
There may be a link between the legends of the Native Americans and the legends of the Maori. More investigation is needed into the thunderbird legends and similar legends throughout the world, but this recent is more evidence that dismissing claims of "primitive" groups of people is not only mean, it is also bad science.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Lost in High School
The Historical Milieu of Christ's birth
Part 1 - Rome
On December 25, Christians around the world celebrate the birth of Jesus of Nazareth (the exception being the Russian Orthodox Christians, who celebrate Christmas on January 7). It is a feast that has become riddled with controversy, as men for the last few hundred years have sought to minimize its significance. For the Christian, the birth of the World’s Savior is obviously an event of great significance; for the historian, likewise, the birth of arguably the most important man in history bears more than a little importance. As a Christian historian, therefore, it is almost a requirement that I should examine the history surrounding the birth of Jesus, and see how exactly God prepared the world for his coming.
We begin in Rome. Although Christ’s life took place in Palestine, formally small Italian city of Rome controlled Palestine and the rest of the known world at the time of the Incarnation. In the twilight of the era before Christ, Rome was celebrating her second emperor, Caesar Augustus. Augustus had brought Rome out of the civil war that followed the assassination of his uncle, Julius Caesar. For the first time in centuries, Rome was at peace, no longer involved wars of conquest or internal disputation. It was a time known as the Pax Romana, the Roman Peace. Augustus made sure the city of Rome, and thereby the entire empire, remembered this period of peace. In particular, he closed the temple of Janus, a Roman god (where we get the name for the month January). This temple was used primarily in praying for peace. Sacrifices were offered in the hope that something like the Pax Romana would occur. When it did happen, as hoped, there was no need for the temple to stay open. Augustus, in a lavish ceremony, placed a Roman military spear across the doors of the temple, officially declaring the Empire in a state of peace. This lasted until after his death. Christ was born before Augustus’s death, and thus the Prince fo Peace was born in a time of universal peace.
This peaceful precedent was not the only preparation for Christ’s coming that involved Caesar Augustus. Augustus became emperor of Rome in 29 BC around the age of 34. As he got older, he became more beloved, and some senators sought to erect a temple to Augustus. Augustus was unsure if he should allow it, so he sought the advice of an oracle. The sibyl there told Augustus that a greater king would come and rule Rome. Augustus went out, and then he saw a vision. The sky opened and a woman holding an infant appeared. The sibyl told Augustus that the infant was to be the divine ruler of the world. Augustus told the senators, who agreed to build a temple at the spot to a virgin goddess. The historical details of the vision are sketchy, and the above story comes more from a medieval manuscript than a life of Augustus. However, there is some archaeological evidence that the story predates the medieval legend (See Paul F. Burke, “Augustus and Christianity in Myth and Legend,” New England Classical Journal 32, No. 3 (2005) 213-220).
Related to Augustus’s vision is the Fourth Eclogue of Virgil. Virgil, a Latin poet more famous for his epic poem The Aenead, wrote some smaller poems called eclogues. The fourth of these, written around 40 BC, refers to a young boy who will rule Heaven and Earth. The initial prompt for such a poem was probably Augustus’s expected victory (since he had not yet completely squashed his enemies); however, the poem so closely resembles a passage from Isaiah that some scholars believe Virgil was inspired by the prophecies of the prophet concerning the coming Messiah as recorded in the Septuagint, which was popular reading for some Romans. The boy in the poem is linked with Lucina, the goddess “who brings children into light,” a proper association for the Hebraic Messiah. Concerning the boy, Virgil also says,
As mentioned above, Augustus was responsible for the Pax Romana, the Roman Peace, and could very well be the boy destined to rule the world in peace mentioned in the poem. The similarity to Isaiah, though, is too close to ignore, particularly because Isaiah refers to the Messiah as the “Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6). Virgil also notes, interestingly enough, that “The serpent too shall die,” as one of the results of his Messiah’s coming. Did he make the connection between Genesis 3:15 and the coming Jewish Messiah? Virgil was a smart man, and if he had read much of the Septuagint, he might have followed the systematic thought behind the Jewish writers, and he very well might have connected the prophecies from Genesis to those found in Isaiah. The prophetic poem that makes up the Fourth Eclogue is too similar to Hebraic prophecies of Christ to be a coincidence.
One last event in Rome closes this first part of examining the milieu surrounding Christ’s birth. Virgil noted in his above mentioned eclogue that the Earth will erupt with joy for the arrival of the Messiah:
This sounds simply like an artistic description of the Earth’s joy in the Messiah. It would indeed be merely a literary device, if something similar had not happened historically. Sometime between 38 and 30 BC, between two and ten years after Virgil composed this poem, an incredible amount of oil flowed up from the ground and spilled into the Tiber River. The oil came from the small suburb of Rome called Trestevere, though the area was at that time called Taberna Meritoria. The story is recounted not only in Christian literature (St. Jerome mentions it in his additions to Eusebius Chronicle of the Church, and another Christian writer named Paulus Orosius draws the connection between the Pax Romana, the oil, and the coming of Christ) but also in a pagan Roman history by Dio Cassius, who wrote in his Roman History (XLVIII, 43), “Now many events of a portentous nature had occurred even before this, such as the spouting of olive oil on the bank of the Tiber, and many also at this time.” (The translator makes a note that the word translated as “olive oil” can also mean regular oil). The story is one of history, not merely of Christian legend. Whether it directly predicts the birth of Christ is another matter, but the fact that it is so close chronologically to Virgil’s seemingly prophetic poem makes the connection between the birth of Christ and the bubbling oil seem reasonable. This is not the only instance of physical phenomenon happening in concurrence with Christ’s birth (the more famous example, the Star of Bethlehem, is examined later in this series). It seems all of creation awaited the blessed event of the Incarnation.
We have examined preparations for the Messiah in the capital imperial city of Rome. Next time, we will examine how other parts of the world, particularly to the east of Palestine, prepared for the coming of Christ.
Part 1 - Rome
On December 25, Christians around the world celebrate the birth of Jesus of Nazareth (the exception being the Russian Orthodox Christians, who celebrate Christmas on January 7). It is a feast that has become riddled with controversy, as men for the last few hundred years have sought to minimize its significance. For the Christian, the birth of the World’s Savior is obviously an event of great significance; for the historian, likewise, the birth of arguably the most important man in history bears more than a little importance. As a Christian historian, therefore, it is almost a requirement that I should examine the history surrounding the birth of Jesus, and see how exactly God prepared the world for his coming.
We begin in Rome. Although Christ’s life took place in Palestine, formally small Italian city of Rome controlled Palestine and the rest of the known world at the time of the Incarnation. In the twilight of the era before Christ, Rome was celebrating her second emperor, Caesar Augustus. Augustus had brought Rome out of the civil war that followed the assassination of his uncle, Julius Caesar. For the first time in centuries, Rome was at peace, no longer involved wars of conquest or internal disputation. It was a time known as the Pax Romana, the Roman Peace. Augustus made sure the city of Rome, and thereby the entire empire, remembered this period of peace. In particular, he closed the temple of Janus, a Roman god (where we get the name for the month January). This temple was used primarily in praying for peace. Sacrifices were offered in the hope that something like the Pax Romana would occur. When it did happen, as hoped, there was no need for the temple to stay open. Augustus, in a lavish ceremony, placed a Roman military spear across the doors of the temple, officially declaring the Empire in a state of peace. This lasted until after his death. Christ was born before Augustus’s death, and thus the Prince fo Peace was born in a time of universal peace.
This peaceful precedent was not the only preparation for Christ’s coming that involved Caesar Augustus. Augustus became emperor of Rome in 29 BC around the age of 34. As he got older, he became more beloved, and some senators sought to erect a temple to Augustus. Augustus was unsure if he should allow it, so he sought the advice of an oracle. The sibyl there told Augustus that a greater king would come and rule Rome. Augustus went out, and then he saw a vision. The sky opened and a woman holding an infant appeared. The sibyl told Augustus that the infant was to be the divine ruler of the world. Augustus told the senators, who agreed to build a temple at the spot to a virgin goddess. The historical details of the vision are sketchy, and the above story comes more from a medieval manuscript than a life of Augustus. However, there is some archaeological evidence that the story predates the medieval legend (See Paul F. Burke, “Augustus and Christianity in Myth and Legend,” New England Classical Journal 32, No. 3 (2005) 213-220).
Related to Augustus’s vision is the Fourth Eclogue of Virgil. Virgil, a Latin poet more famous for his epic poem The Aenead, wrote some smaller poems called eclogues. The fourth of these, written around 40 BC, refers to a young boy who will rule Heaven and Earth. The initial prompt for such a poem was probably Augustus’s expected victory (since he had not yet completely squashed his enemies); however, the poem so closely resembles a passage from Isaiah that some scholars believe Virgil was inspired by the prophecies of the prophet concerning the coming Messiah as recorded in the Septuagint, which was popular reading for some Romans. The boy in the poem is linked with Lucina, the goddess “who brings children into light,” a proper association for the Hebraic Messiah. Concerning the boy, Virgil also says,
He shall receive the life of gods, and see
Heroes with gods commingling, and himself
Be seen of them, and with his father's worth
Reign o'er a world at peace.
As mentioned above, Augustus was responsible for the Pax Romana, the Roman Peace, and could very well be the boy destined to rule the world in peace mentioned in the poem. The similarity to Isaiah, though, is too close to ignore, particularly because Isaiah refers to the Messiah as the “Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6). Virgil also notes, interestingly enough, that “The serpent too shall die,” as one of the results of his Messiah’s coming. Did he make the connection between Genesis 3:15 and the coming Jewish Messiah? Virgil was a smart man, and if he had read much of the Septuagint, he might have followed the systematic thought behind the Jewish writers, and he very well might have connected the prophecies from Genesis to those found in Isaiah. The prophetic poem that makes up the Fourth Eclogue is too similar to Hebraic prophecies of Christ to be a coincidence.
One last event in Rome closes this first part of examining the milieu surrounding Christ’s birth. Virgil noted in his above mentioned eclogue that the Earth will erupt with joy for the arrival of the Messiah:
For thee, O boy,
First shall the earth, untilled, pour freely forth
Her childish gifts, the gadding ivy-spray.
This sounds simply like an artistic description of the Earth’s joy in the Messiah. It would indeed be merely a literary device, if something similar had not happened historically. Sometime between 38 and 30 BC, between two and ten years after Virgil composed this poem, an incredible amount of oil flowed up from the ground and spilled into the Tiber River. The oil came from the small suburb of Rome called Trestevere, though the area was at that time called Taberna Meritoria. The story is recounted not only in Christian literature (St. Jerome mentions it in his additions to Eusebius Chronicle of the Church, and another Christian writer named Paulus Orosius draws the connection between the Pax Romana, the oil, and the coming of Christ) but also in a pagan Roman history by Dio Cassius, who wrote in his Roman History (XLVIII, 43), “Now many events of a portentous nature had occurred even before this, such as the spouting of olive oil on the bank of the Tiber, and many also at this time.” (The translator makes a note that the word translated as “olive oil” can also mean regular oil). The story is one of history, not merely of Christian legend. Whether it directly predicts the birth of Christ is another matter, but the fact that it is so close chronologically to Virgil’s seemingly prophetic poem makes the connection between the birth of Christ and the bubbling oil seem reasonable. This is not the only instance of physical phenomenon happening in concurrence with Christ’s birth (the more famous example, the Star of Bethlehem, is examined later in this series). It seems all of creation awaited the blessed event of the Incarnation.
We have examined preparations for the Messiah in the capital imperial city of Rome. Next time, we will examine how other parts of the world, particularly to the east of Palestine, prepared for the coming of Christ.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
and now for something completely different.
We need an uplifting post. Here's one of those emails that everyone gets and forwards to everyone who already got it. Well, who would do that when I've got a BLOG!
This reminds me of the book 1066 and All That, which I highly recommend.
ABRIDGED OUTLINE OF HISTORY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3050 B.C.- A Sumerian invents the wheel. Within the week, the idea is stolen
and duplicated by other Sumerians, there-by establishing the business ethic
for all times.
2900 B.C.- Wondering why the Egyptians call that new thing a Sphinx becomes
the first of the world's Seven Great Wonders.
1850 B.C.- Britons proclaim Operation Stonehenge a success. They've finally
gotten those boulders arranged in a sufficiently meaningless pattern to
confuse scientists for centuries.
1785 B.C.- The first calendar, composed of a year with 354 days, is
introduced by Babylonian scientists.
1768 B.C.- Babylonians realize something is wrong when winter begins in
June.
776 B.C.- The world's first known money appears in Persia, immediately
causing the world's first known counterfeiter to appear in Persia the next
day.
525 B.C.- The first Olympics are held, and prove similar to the modern
games, except that the Russians don't try to enter a six-footer with a
mustache in the women's shot put. However, the Egyptians do!
410 B.C.- Rome ends the practice of throwing debtors into slavery, thus
removing the biggest single obstacle to the development of the credit card.
404 B.C.- The Peloponnesian war has been going on for 27 years now because
neither side can find a treaty writer who knows how to spell Peloponnesian.
214 B.C.- Tens of thousands of Chinese labor for a gener-ation to build the
1,500 mile long Great Wall of China. And after all that, it still doesn't
keep the neighbor's dog out.
1 B.C.- Calendar manufacturers find themselves in total dis-agreement over
what to call next year.
79 A.D.- Buying property in Pompeii turns out to have been a lousy real
estate investment.
432- St. Patrick introduces Christianity to Ireland, thereby giving the
natives something interesting to fight about for the rest of their recorded
history.
1000- Leif Ericsson discovers America, but decides it's not worth
mentioning.
1043- Lady Godiva finds a means of demonstrating against high taxes that
immediately makes everyone forget what she is demonstrating against.
1125- Arabic numerals are introduced to Europe, enabling peasants to solve
the most baffling problem that confronts them: How much tax do you owe on
MMMDCCCLX Lira when you're in the XXXVI percent bracket?
1233- The Inquisition is set up to torture and kill anyone who disagrees
with the Law of the Church. However, the practice is so un-Christian that it
is permitted to continue for only 600 years.
1297- The world's first stock exchange opens, but no one has the foresight
to buy IBM or Xerox.
1433- Portugal launches the African slave trade, which just proves what a
small, ambitious country can do with a little bit of ingenuity and a whole
lot of evil!
1456- An English judge reviews Joan of Arc's case and cancels her death
sentence. Unfortunately for her, she was put to death in 1431.
1492- Columbus proves how lost he really is by landing in the Bahamas,
naming the place San Salvador, and calling the people who live there
Indians.
1497- Amerigo Vespucci becomes the 7th or 8th explorer to discover the new
world, but the first to think of naming it in honor of himself...the United
States of Vespuccia!
1508- Michelangelo finally agrees to paint the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel, but he still refuses to wash the windows.
1513- Ponce de Leon claims he found the Fountain of Youth, but dies of old
age trying to remember where it was he found it.
1522- Scientists, who know the world is flat, conclude that Magellan made it
all the way around by crawling across the bottom.
1568- Saddened over the slander of his good name, Ivan the Terrible kills
another 100,000 peasants to make them stop calling him Ivan the Terrible.
1607- The Indians laugh themselves silly as the first Euro-pean tourist to
visit Virginia tries to register as "John Smith."
1618- Future Generations are doomed as the English exe-cute Sir Walter
Raleigh, but allow his tobacco plants to live.
1642- Nine students receive the first Bachelor of Arts degrees conferred in
America, and immediately discover there are no jobs open for a kid with a
liberal arts education.
1670- The pilgrims are too busy burning false witches to observe the golden
anniversary of their winning religious freedom.
1755- Samuel Johnson issues the first English Dictionary, at last providing
young children with a book they can look up dirty words in.
1758- New Jersey is chosen as the site of America's first Indian
reservation, which should give Indians an idea of the kind of shabby living
conditions they can expect from here on out.
1763- The French and Indian War ends. The French and Indians both lost.
1770- The shooting of three people in the Boston Massacre touches off the
Revolution. 200 Years later, three shootings in Boston will be considered
just about average for a Sat-urday Night.
1773- Colonists dump tea into Boston Harbor. British call the act
"barbaric," noting that no one added cream.
1776- Napoleon decides to maintain a position of neutrality in the American
Revolution, primarily because he is only seven years old.
1779- John Paul Jones notifies the British, "I have just begun to fight!"
... and then feels pretty foolish when he discovers that his ship is
sinking.
1793- "Let them eat cake!" becomes the most famous thing Marie Antoinette
ever said. Also, the least diplomatic thing she ever said. Also, the last
thing she ever said.
1799- Translation of the Rosetta Stone finally enables scholars to learn
that Egyptian hieroglyphics don't say anything important. "Dear Ramses, How
are you? I am fine."
1805- Robert Fulton invents the torpedo.
1807- Robert Fulton invents the steamship so he has something to blow up
with his torpedo.
1815- Post Office policy is established as Andrew Jackson wins the Battle of
New Orleans a month after he should have received the letter telling him the
War of 1812 is over.
1840- William Henry Harrison is elected president in a landslide, proving
that the campaign motto, "Tippecanoe and Tyler too" is so meaningless that
very few can disagree with it.
1850- Henry Clay announces, "I'd rather be right than president," which gets
quite a laugh, coming from a guy who has run for president five times
without winning.
1859- Charles Darwin writes "Origin of the Species". It has the same
general plot as "Planet of the Apes," but fails to gross as much money.
1865- Union Soldiers face their greatest challenge of the war: getting
General Grant sober enough to accept Lee's surrender.
1894- Thomas Edison displays the first motion picture, and everybody likes
it except the movie critics.
1903- The opening of the Trans-Siberian Railway enables passengers from
Moscow to reach Vladivostok in eight days, which is a lot sooner than most
of them want to get there.
1910- The founding of the Boy Scouts of America comes as bad news to old
ladies who would rather cross the street by themselves.
1911- Roald Amundsen discovers the South Pole and confirms what he's
suspected all along: It looks very much like the North Pole!
1920- The 18th Amendment to the Constitution makes drinking illegal in the
U.S. so everyone stops. Except for the 40 million who don't stop!
1928- Herbert Hoover promises "a chicken in every pot and a car in every
garage," but he neglects to add that most Americans will soon be without
pots and garages.
1930- Pluto is discovered. Not the dog, stupid; the planet. The dog wasn't
discovered until 1938.
1933- German housewives begin to realize why that crazy wallpaper hanger
with the mustache never came back to finish his work.
1934- John Dillinger is gunned down by police as he leaves a Chicago movie
theater. And just to make the evening a complete washout, he didn't enjoy
the movie either.
1934- As if the Great Depression weren't giving business-men enough
headaches, Ralph Nader is born.
1938- Great Britain and Germany sign a peace treaty, there-by averting all
possibility of WWII.
This reminds me of the book 1066 and All That, which I highly recommend.
ABRIDGED OUTLINE OF HISTORY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3050 B.C.- A Sumerian invents the wheel. Within the week, the idea is stolen
and duplicated by other Sumerians, there-by establishing the business ethic
for all times.
2900 B.C.- Wondering why the Egyptians call that new thing a Sphinx becomes
the first of the world's Seven Great Wonders.
1850 B.C.- Britons proclaim Operation Stonehenge a success. They've finally
gotten those boulders arranged in a sufficiently meaningless pattern to
confuse scientists for centuries.
1785 B.C.- The first calendar, composed of a year with 354 days, is
introduced by Babylonian scientists.
1768 B.C.- Babylonians realize something is wrong when winter begins in
June.
776 B.C.- The world's first known money appears in Persia, immediately
causing the world's first known counterfeiter to appear in Persia the next
day.
525 B.C.- The first Olympics are held, and prove similar to the modern
games, except that the Russians don't try to enter a six-footer with a
mustache in the women's shot put. However, the Egyptians do!
410 B.C.- Rome ends the practice of throwing debtors into slavery, thus
removing the biggest single obstacle to the development of the credit card.
404 B.C.- The Peloponnesian war has been going on for 27 years now because
neither side can find a treaty writer who knows how to spell Peloponnesian.
214 B.C.- Tens of thousands of Chinese labor for a gener-ation to build the
1,500 mile long Great Wall of China. And after all that, it still doesn't
keep the neighbor's dog out.
1 B.C.- Calendar manufacturers find themselves in total dis-agreement over
what to call next year.
79 A.D.- Buying property in Pompeii turns out to have been a lousy real
estate investment.
432- St. Patrick introduces Christianity to Ireland, thereby giving the
natives something interesting to fight about for the rest of their recorded
history.
1000- Leif Ericsson discovers America, but decides it's not worth
mentioning.
1043- Lady Godiva finds a means of demonstrating against high taxes that
immediately makes everyone forget what she is demonstrating against.
1125- Arabic numerals are introduced to Europe, enabling peasants to solve
the most baffling problem that confronts them: How much tax do you owe on
MMMDCCCLX Lira when you're in the XXXVI percent bracket?
1233- The Inquisition is set up to torture and kill anyone who disagrees
with the Law of the Church. However, the practice is so un-Christian that it
is permitted to continue for only 600 years.
1297- The world's first stock exchange opens, but no one has the foresight
to buy IBM or Xerox.
1433- Portugal launches the African slave trade, which just proves what a
small, ambitious country can do with a little bit of ingenuity and a whole
lot of evil!
1456- An English judge reviews Joan of Arc's case and cancels her death
sentence. Unfortunately for her, she was put to death in 1431.
1492- Columbus proves how lost he really is by landing in the Bahamas,
naming the place San Salvador, and calling the people who live there
Indians.
1497- Amerigo Vespucci becomes the 7th or 8th explorer to discover the new
world, but the first to think of naming it in honor of himself...the United
States of Vespuccia!
1508- Michelangelo finally agrees to paint the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel, but he still refuses to wash the windows.
1513- Ponce de Leon claims he found the Fountain of Youth, but dies of old
age trying to remember where it was he found it.
1522- Scientists, who know the world is flat, conclude that Magellan made it
all the way around by crawling across the bottom.
1568- Saddened over the slander of his good name, Ivan the Terrible kills
another 100,000 peasants to make them stop calling him Ivan the Terrible.
1607- The Indians laugh themselves silly as the first Euro-pean tourist to
visit Virginia tries to register as "John Smith."
1618- Future Generations are doomed as the English exe-cute Sir Walter
Raleigh, but allow his tobacco plants to live.
1642- Nine students receive the first Bachelor of Arts degrees conferred in
America, and immediately discover there are no jobs open for a kid with a
liberal arts education.
1670- The pilgrims are too busy burning false witches to observe the golden
anniversary of their winning religious freedom.
1755- Samuel Johnson issues the first English Dictionary, at last providing
young children with a book they can look up dirty words in.
1758- New Jersey is chosen as the site of America's first Indian
reservation, which should give Indians an idea of the kind of shabby living
conditions they can expect from here on out.
1763- The French and Indian War ends. The French and Indians both lost.
1770- The shooting of three people in the Boston Massacre touches off the
Revolution. 200 Years later, three shootings in Boston will be considered
just about average for a Sat-urday Night.
1773- Colonists dump tea into Boston Harbor. British call the act
"barbaric," noting that no one added cream.
1776- Napoleon decides to maintain a position of neutrality in the American
Revolution, primarily because he is only seven years old.
1779- John Paul Jones notifies the British, "I have just begun to fight!"
... and then feels pretty foolish when he discovers that his ship is
sinking.
1793- "Let them eat cake!" becomes the most famous thing Marie Antoinette
ever said. Also, the least diplomatic thing she ever said. Also, the last
thing she ever said.
1799- Translation of the Rosetta Stone finally enables scholars to learn
that Egyptian hieroglyphics don't say anything important. "Dear Ramses, How
are you? I am fine."
1805- Robert Fulton invents the torpedo.
1807- Robert Fulton invents the steamship so he has something to blow up
with his torpedo.
1815- Post Office policy is established as Andrew Jackson wins the Battle of
New Orleans a month after he should have received the letter telling him the
War of 1812 is over.
1840- William Henry Harrison is elected president in a landslide, proving
that the campaign motto, "Tippecanoe and Tyler too" is so meaningless that
very few can disagree with it.
1850- Henry Clay announces, "I'd rather be right than president," which gets
quite a laugh, coming from a guy who has run for president five times
without winning.
1859- Charles Darwin writes "Origin of the Species". It has the same
general plot as "Planet of the Apes," but fails to gross as much money.
1865- Union Soldiers face their greatest challenge of the war: getting
General Grant sober enough to accept Lee's surrender.
1894- Thomas Edison displays the first motion picture, and everybody likes
it except the movie critics.
1903- The opening of the Trans-Siberian Railway enables passengers from
Moscow to reach Vladivostok in eight days, which is a lot sooner than most
of them want to get there.
1910- The founding of the Boy Scouts of America comes as bad news to old
ladies who would rather cross the street by themselves.
1911- Roald Amundsen discovers the South Pole and confirms what he's
suspected all along: It looks very much like the North Pole!
1920- The 18th Amendment to the Constitution makes drinking illegal in the
U.S. so everyone stops. Except for the 40 million who don't stop!
1928- Herbert Hoover promises "a chicken in every pot and a car in every
garage," but he neglects to add that most Americans will soon be without
pots and garages.
1930- Pluto is discovered. Not the dog, stupid; the planet. The dog wasn't
discovered until 1938.
1933- German housewives begin to realize why that crazy wallpaper hanger
with the mustache never came back to finish his work.
1934- John Dillinger is gunned down by police as he leaves a Chicago movie
theater. And just to make the evening a complete washout, he didn't enjoy
the movie either.
1934- As if the Great Depression weren't giving business-men enough
headaches, Ralph Nader is born.
1938- Great Britain and Germany sign a peace treaty, there-by averting all
possibility of WWII.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Deadly Thinking
Clown: Good madonna, why mournest thou?
OLIVIA: Good fool, for my brother's death.
Clown: I think his soul is in hell, madonna.
OLIVIA: I know his soul is in heaven, fool.
Clown: The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother's soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.
~ William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, I.V
What happens to us when we die? As a Catholic (heck, as a believer in one God), I know there is an afterlife: Heaven or Hell, depending on how one’s life is lived. Some believe in reincarnation, that the soul comes back after death in another body, the body determined by how the soul lived in its previous life. Whatever the religion, most believe that what we do in this life affects what happens to us after we die. Our choices and our actions steer us in a specific direction, as regards our souls after our deaths. In fact, those that don’t follow a religion in the strict sense seem to be the only ones who deny any sort of afterlife.
Doing good deeds gains you eternal life, or a better reincarnation, or some sort of blessing. Doing evil deeds pushes you away from the ultimate goal of salvation. This is the given.
Let us look at two public figures who have led rather different lives, one pushing good, and the other pursuing evil. Normally it is hard to actually compare such figures, because the two subjects might not have the same background or understanding of what is good and what is evil. A man raised in Communist China might have a different understanding of good and evil compared to a man raised in Belgium. This, however, is not the case with our current comparison. The two figures not only come from the same background, same religion, etc, but are from the same family, and are in fact siblings.
I am referring to the late Eunice Kennedy Shriver and the late Edward Kennedy.
The Kennedys were raised Irish Catholic, went to the best schools money could buy (and they definitely had money, although the story behind the acquisition of that money is not for this post), and grew up into the world of politics, a world in which their father, Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr., preceded them. This is the same Kennedy family that produced John F. Kennedy, the 35th president of the United States.
Eunice Kennedy Shriver often played a part in the political careers of her brothers and her other relatives. Like her brothers, Eunice was a Democrat. She worked with Catholic charities throughout the country, and then helped found the movement for which she is best remembered: the Special Olympics. She devoted her life to helping the helpless. She was also a great supporter of the Pro-Life movement, supporting such notable organizations as Feminists for Life, the Susan B. Anthony List, and Democrats for Life. She vocally reprimanded the exceedingly Pro-Choice slant of the Democratic Party, as shown in a letter in The New York Times urging then Democratic presidential candidate Bill Clinton to abandon the aggressive Democratic Pro-Choice platform.
She died as she lived, devoted to others, devoted to the faith.
Edward “Ted” Kennedy was also involved in politics. As a United States senator, Ted Kennedy had a hand in most of the political debates swirling since the 1960s. Unlike his sister Eunice, Ted Kennedy was a typical Democrat, not willing to argue against the party’s policy on abortion and other Pro-Life issues. If fact, he received grief from the Magisterium of the Church over his refusal to accept the Church’s teaching not only on abortion, but also on embryonic stem cell research and gay marriage. In a 1983 speech, Ted Kennedy said the following:
Ted Kennedy saw the world not as a matter of right or wrong, but more of “whatever you feel like,” even with regards to something universal like truth or patriotism. This is a far cry from his sister’s position on absolute truth.
Two siblings, two very different views.
This brings us to a very interesting realization I had upon hearing of Senator Kennedy’s death. I immediately said a “Requiem Aeternam” for him, something I’ve been trying to do whenever I hear of someone’s death. Then it hit me. What if he really needs the “Requiem”? We Catholics believe that God answers prayers in ways we cannot understand, since he is outside of time. Therefore, a prayer for something of which you don’t know the result can affect what happened in the past. A “Requiem” said for someone after they died could help that person reach heaven. We don’t know the state of anyone’s soul when the person dies. What we do know is that those who have led lives of sin need the prayers just as much, maybe even more, than the prayers of those who lived a good life.
Let’s connect the dots. We cannot be sure that either Kennedy is in heaven (neither, obviously, have been declared saints). We cannot say for certain that either one is in Hell (we just can’t know that. Sorry Dante). What we can do is pray.
This uncertainty is reflected in the above quote from Twelfth Night. Why pray for a soul that is in heaven? If one prays for a deceased loved one, it is a given that the soul needs the prayer, i.e., is in heaven. We therefore pray for those who are struggling in Purgatory, for they need our prayers. For all we know, our prayers helped them land there, rather than in Hell.
Pray for all deceased Kennedys, and all who have died, especially those who need our prayers the most.
OLIVIA: Good fool, for my brother's death.
Clown: I think his soul is in hell, madonna.
OLIVIA: I know his soul is in heaven, fool.
Clown: The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother's soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.
~ William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, I.V
What happens to us when we die? As a Catholic (heck, as a believer in one God), I know there is an afterlife: Heaven or Hell, depending on how one’s life is lived. Some believe in reincarnation, that the soul comes back after death in another body, the body determined by how the soul lived in its previous life. Whatever the religion, most believe that what we do in this life affects what happens to us after we die. Our choices and our actions steer us in a specific direction, as regards our souls after our deaths. In fact, those that don’t follow a religion in the strict sense seem to be the only ones who deny any sort of afterlife.
Doing good deeds gains you eternal life, or a better reincarnation, or some sort of blessing. Doing evil deeds pushes you away from the ultimate goal of salvation. This is the given.
Let us look at two public figures who have led rather different lives, one pushing good, and the other pursuing evil. Normally it is hard to actually compare such figures, because the two subjects might not have the same background or understanding of what is good and what is evil. A man raised in Communist China might have a different understanding of good and evil compared to a man raised in Belgium. This, however, is not the case with our current comparison. The two figures not only come from the same background, same religion, etc, but are from the same family, and are in fact siblings.
I am referring to the late Eunice Kennedy Shriver and the late Edward Kennedy.
The Kennedys were raised Irish Catholic, went to the best schools money could buy (and they definitely had money, although the story behind the acquisition of that money is not for this post), and grew up into the world of politics, a world in which their father, Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr., preceded them. This is the same Kennedy family that produced John F. Kennedy, the 35th president of the United States.
Eunice Kennedy Shriver often played a part in the political careers of her brothers and her other relatives. Like her brothers, Eunice was a Democrat. She worked with Catholic charities throughout the country, and then helped found the movement for which she is best remembered: the Special Olympics. She devoted her life to helping the helpless. She was also a great supporter of the Pro-Life movement, supporting such notable organizations as Feminists for Life, the Susan B. Anthony List, and Democrats for Life. She vocally reprimanded the exceedingly Pro-Choice slant of the Democratic Party, as shown in a letter in The New York Times urging then Democratic presidential candidate Bill Clinton to abandon the aggressive Democratic Pro-Choice platform.
She died as she lived, devoted to others, devoted to the faith.
Edward “Ted” Kennedy was also involved in politics. As a United States senator, Ted Kennedy had a hand in most of the political debates swirling since the 1960s. Unlike his sister Eunice, Ted Kennedy was a typical Democrat, not willing to argue against the party’s policy on abortion and other Pro-Life issues. If fact, he received grief from the Magisterium of the Church over his refusal to accept the Church’s teaching not only on abortion, but also on embryonic stem cell research and gay marriage. In a 1983 speech, Ted Kennedy said the following:
I am an American and a Catholic. I love my country and treasure my faith. But I do not assume that my conception of patriotism or policy is invariably correct, or that my convictions about religion should command any greater respect than any other faith in this pluralistic society. I believe there surely is such a thing as truth, but who among us can claim a monopoly on it?
Ted Kennedy saw the world not as a matter of right or wrong, but more of “whatever you feel like,” even with regards to something universal like truth or patriotism. This is a far cry from his sister’s position on absolute truth.
Two siblings, two very different views.
This brings us to a very interesting realization I had upon hearing of Senator Kennedy’s death. I immediately said a “Requiem Aeternam” for him, something I’ve been trying to do whenever I hear of someone’s death. Then it hit me. What if he really needs the “Requiem”? We Catholics believe that God answers prayers in ways we cannot understand, since he is outside of time. Therefore, a prayer for something of which you don’t know the result can affect what happened in the past. A “Requiem” said for someone after they died could help that person reach heaven. We don’t know the state of anyone’s soul when the person dies. What we do know is that those who have led lives of sin need the prayers just as much, maybe even more, than the prayers of those who lived a good life.
Let’s connect the dots. We cannot be sure that either Kennedy is in heaven (neither, obviously, have been declared saints). We cannot say for certain that either one is in Hell (we just can’t know that. Sorry Dante). What we can do is pray.
This uncertainty is reflected in the above quote from Twelfth Night. Why pray for a soul that is in heaven? If one prays for a deceased loved one, it is a given that the soul needs the prayer, i.e., is in heaven. We therefore pray for those who are struggling in Purgatory, for they need our prayers. For all we know, our prayers helped them land there, rather than in Hell.
Pray for all deceased Kennedys, and all who have died, especially those who need our prayers the most.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
What's Goin On
It has been over a month since I posted last. You would think with all the time I have, I would be doing things like posting blog posts or something productive.
Instead I job search.
But it’s ok if I don’t get a job. I did the math. I have enough in my account to pay off loans for the next 12 months, even if I don’t get any more income during that time.
I also have enough to start graduate school. But not at some really expensive school, mind you. No, I’m gonna get my masters from the Notre Dame Graduate School. No, not the fighting Irish. I’m going to attend the Graduate School of the College, where I went for my BA. I can only get the Masters in Theology, but there is a type of theology called Systematic Theology that’s kinda like a history/theology combo. Basically, as its name suggests, it sets down the truths of the faith in a “systematic” way, that is, orderly and following upon one another. Hence the emphasis of history. The record of history shows one even happening after the other. Church History shows the beliefs of the church developed and explained in time. Studying Patristics (the Church Fathers) allows the student to see the first men to really set down the beliefs of the Church, as well as looking at them in a historical context. Remember that the great anti-heretical definitions that we take for granted in today’s Church (the Nicene Creed, for example) are the result of Churchmen reacting to heresy.
So that’s what I’m studying. If I set it up right, I can finish in two years.
Its cheap too, did I mention that? One course (not credit hour, but course) at NDGS is $975. That’s about as much as a credit hour is at a big-time university.
Tell you all what. Check out the details at the graduate school’s website. If you are curious, I’m taking courses this Fall in Patristics, Holy Spirit and Ecclesiology, and Old Testament.
Three more announcements, please, everyone sit down.
I have joined a Young Adult softball team with other Young Adults from the Archdiocese of Washington. We are H. O. T. Y. A. M (Holy is Our Team Young Adult Ministry) and we are undefeated after three games. We won our first one, tied our second, and won our third. They are epic games, real nailbiters usually. Anyone around DC on Sundays for the rest of the summer should wander around all those ball fields (where the cricket players play) and look for a game. A good time is had by all.
Those crazy movie makers at Mirandum Pictures are at it again. Another short is in the works. I’m helping again, an opportunity I could not turn down. It’s an interesting little short, and they want extras, so if you’re in Front Royal sometime between August 4 and August 15, check it out.
On a related note, I’ve put a bunch of my movies made in college on You Tube, as promised. Check them out here.
And finally, check out the latest website for the Population Research Institute. They are trying to appeal to college-aged people, attempting to spread the word that OVERPOPULATION IS A MYTH! Some people still think this is the case (aka, the people running this country), and the word has to be heard. So watch the video, look around the site, and share it with others.
That’s all I got today. If you have any questions, please see me after class.
Instead I job search.
But it’s ok if I don’t get a job. I did the math. I have enough in my account to pay off loans for the next 12 months, even if I don’t get any more income during that time.
I also have enough to start graduate school. But not at some really expensive school, mind you. No, I’m gonna get my masters from the Notre Dame Graduate School. No, not the fighting Irish. I’m going to attend the Graduate School of the College, where I went for my BA. I can only get the Masters in Theology, but there is a type of theology called Systematic Theology that’s kinda like a history/theology combo. Basically, as its name suggests, it sets down the truths of the faith in a “systematic” way, that is, orderly and following upon one another. Hence the emphasis of history. The record of history shows one even happening after the other. Church History shows the beliefs of the church developed and explained in time. Studying Patristics (the Church Fathers) allows the student to see the first men to really set down the beliefs of the Church, as well as looking at them in a historical context. Remember that the great anti-heretical definitions that we take for granted in today’s Church (the Nicene Creed, for example) are the result of Churchmen reacting to heresy.
So that’s what I’m studying. If I set it up right, I can finish in two years.
Its cheap too, did I mention that? One course (not credit hour, but course) at NDGS is $975. That’s about as much as a credit hour is at a big-time university.
Tell you all what. Check out the details at the graduate school’s website. If you are curious, I’m taking courses this Fall in Patristics, Holy Spirit and Ecclesiology, and Old Testament.
Three more announcements, please, everyone sit down.
I have joined a Young Adult softball team with other Young Adults from the Archdiocese of Washington. We are H. O. T. Y. A. M (Holy is Our Team Young Adult Ministry) and we are undefeated after three games. We won our first one, tied our second, and won our third. They are epic games, real nailbiters usually. Anyone around DC on Sundays for the rest of the summer should wander around all those ball fields (where the cricket players play) and look for a game. A good time is had by all.
Those crazy movie makers at Mirandum Pictures are at it again. Another short is in the works. I’m helping again, an opportunity I could not turn down. It’s an interesting little short, and they want extras, so if you’re in Front Royal sometime between August 4 and August 15, check it out.
On a related note, I’ve put a bunch of my movies made in college on You Tube, as promised. Check them out here.
And finally, check out the latest website for the Population Research Institute. They are trying to appeal to college-aged people, attempting to spread the word that OVERPOPULATION IS A MYTH! Some people still think this is the case (aka, the people running this country), and the word has to be heard. So watch the video, look around the site, and share it with others.
That’s all I got today. If you have any questions, please see me after class.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Some lively updates
Gosh, to read this blog you would think the most exciting thing to happen in my life was another Montauk Monster body.
Don't worry, that's not the case.
The biggest news by far is that I have, as one of my college friends put it, joined the fastest growing group of Americans: The Unemployed!!! (Coming to a theater this summer). That's right, I'm out of a job. I got the whole "We can't afford to keep you here" bit. Yes, even teachers get laid off. I can't say I didn't see it coming. There were a lot of 8th graders this year. There will be less than half their number this year. It was pretty crowded teacherwise up there this year, and I had a sneaky suspicion that one of us up there would get the cut. And being the weakest and youngest of the gang, I should have been more prepared.
It just goes to show you how we really don't know God's plan for us. I won't get into the details right now (its one of those personal things), but sufficed to say, I thought I had God figured out. I had told God "Ok God. If these three things are the case, then I'll do this." Well, the three things happened, I did what I said I'd do, and. . .
God threw me a monkey wrench. Now I definitely can't do what I was thinking of doing, and I need a job.
"I won't pay, I won't pay ya, no way
(now now) Why don't you get a job
Say no way, say no way ya, no way
(now now) Why don't you get a job" - The Offspring
And so the great job hunt begins. I've contacted a bunch of schools. A few have written back and said they did not need anyone for the upcoming school year. Its like a replay of last summer. I have also applied to jobs for the government. Fun Fun Fun. I have confidence, though, because God does not abandon those who trust in him, and He is who I turn to for help.
On a related note, I have a deep desire to videotape my efforts and make it into a Monster Quest parody. It might help with the coping, but it won't help me land a job.
Speaking of Monster Quest parodies, I have completed the Mammoth Movie, an infamous film I started filming my Sophomore year of college. It was going to be epic, and the finished product is a mere shadow of the original vision. However, it is finished, and God willing I'll find an internet connection strong enough to upload it for the world to see.
I finished reading J. R. R. Tolkien's retelling of Volsunga Saga. It was very good, although It would have been hard to follow without the notes or without having read the story before for class. Thanks Germanic One!
The Germanic One is one of my professors from college. Those who know him will know he is.
UMMMMMmmmmm......
WEDDINGS!!!
Bunches of friends keep getting hitched. Many are bloggers, most are not. Either way, they keep linking together in marriage.
Maybe I'll do a marriage post.
It's not like I don't have any free time now.
Don't worry, that's not the case.
The biggest news by far is that I have, as one of my college friends put it, joined the fastest growing group of Americans: The Unemployed!!! (Coming to a theater this summer). That's right, I'm out of a job. I got the whole "We can't afford to keep you here" bit. Yes, even teachers get laid off. I can't say I didn't see it coming. There were a lot of 8th graders this year. There will be less than half their number this year. It was pretty crowded teacherwise up there this year, and I had a sneaky suspicion that one of us up there would get the cut. And being the weakest and youngest of the gang, I should have been more prepared.
It just goes to show you how we really don't know God's plan for us. I won't get into the details right now (its one of those personal things), but sufficed to say, I thought I had God figured out. I had told God "Ok God. If these three things are the case, then I'll do this." Well, the three things happened, I did what I said I'd do, and. . .
God threw me a monkey wrench. Now I definitely can't do what I was thinking of doing, and I need a job.
"I won't pay, I won't pay ya, no way
(now now) Why don't you get a job
Say no way, say no way ya, no way
(now now) Why don't you get a job" - The Offspring
And so the great job hunt begins. I've contacted a bunch of schools. A few have written back and said they did not need anyone for the upcoming school year. Its like a replay of last summer. I have also applied to jobs for the government. Fun Fun Fun. I have confidence, though, because God does not abandon those who trust in him, and He is who I turn to for help.
On a related note, I have a deep desire to videotape my efforts and make it into a Monster Quest parody. It might help with the coping, but it won't help me land a job.
Speaking of Monster Quest parodies, I have completed the Mammoth Movie, an infamous film I started filming my Sophomore year of college. It was going to be epic, and the finished product is a mere shadow of the original vision. However, it is finished, and God willing I'll find an internet connection strong enough to upload it for the world to see.
I finished reading J. R. R. Tolkien's retelling of Volsunga Saga. It was very good, although It would have been hard to follow without the notes or without having read the story before for class. Thanks Germanic One!
The Germanic One is one of my professors from college. Those who know him will know he is.
UMMMMMmmmmm......
WEDDINGS!!!
Bunches of friends keep getting hitched. Many are bloggers, most are not. Either way, they keep linking together in marriage.
Maybe I'll do a marriage post.
It's not like I don't have any free time now.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Another Montauk Monster?????
You may remember back last summer I posted about a creature that washed up on the shores of a beach in Montauk, New York. I believe the post was here. Long story short, some young people found a creature washed up on the shore. They took some pictures, and soon the whole thing became an internet sensation. So much so that even I had to post on it. So much so that the cable news stations picked it up (ok, to be fair, a dog has to sneeze funny, and it makes the cable news, but still, focus people). So much so that MONSTERQUEST mentioned it in a recent episode involving the Jersey Devil. You may remember me talking about the episode. I believe it was here.
No? Do you even read this blog?
More important than that though, is that they found ANOTHER MONTAUK MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At least, that is how it seems. There is video, and pictures, and, better yet, the body. That's right, the people who found this one thought ahead and have preserved the body in a cooler of ice. Hopefully someone somewhere will be willing to do the DNA tests (it turns out the other body was "stolen" before anyone could get the DNA needed for a test.
Oh, alright. Here's a picture of the thing. Pretty damn ugly, if you ask me.
It does look a lot like the monster from last year, although it does have an uncanny resemblance to the descriptions of the aliens from the CCB 2008 (look it up on YouTube, if you so desire). Also, check out the official Montauk Monster website. Its pretty sweet.
I'll try to post any developments as they emerge.
No? Do you even read this blog?
More important than that though, is that they found ANOTHER MONTAUK MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At least, that is how it seems. There is video, and pictures, and, better yet, the body. That's right, the people who found this one thought ahead and have preserved the body in a cooler of ice. Hopefully someone somewhere will be willing to do the DNA tests (it turns out the other body was "stolen" before anyone could get the DNA needed for a test.
Oh, alright. Here's a picture of the thing. Pretty damn ugly, if you ask me.
It does look a lot like the monster from last year, although it does have an uncanny resemblance to the descriptions of the aliens from the CCB 2008 (look it up on YouTube, if you so desire). Also, check out the official Montauk Monster website. Its pretty sweet.
I'll try to post any developments as they emerge.
Friday, May 08, 2009
Trapped in the '70s!
Crack-pot theories are much more bizarre when the person developing them is neither on crack nor smoking pot. I fall into this category, and have for your delight a rather strange theory.
We, that is, the world, has somehow spun into the past. That’s right, we have somehow returned to the 1970s!!!!
Preposterous, you shout. Ibid, you are on crack. Wrong, I reply. My blood shot eyes are due to the pollen, not the drugs.
Snort.
So anyway, yeah, the ‘70s. The decade of disco and the end of
There are several pieces of evidence in support of my theory. It consists of uncanny similarities between the decade 30 years ago and our present world. Those who are weak at heart might want to avert your eyes.
1. 3D movies – In the 1970s there was a burst of 3D movies, that is, movies which had specific scenes where the audience placed special glasses on their faces so that the images on the screen would jump out at said audience. It is an exciting feeling when a monster or exploding piece of rock flies off of the screen and right at your face. What better than films like Jaws 3D to exploit this marvel of moviemaking? What could be more exciting than 3D movies? Not much, and there was a plethora of 3D films at that time, each one designed to grab the audience and drag them into the movie. It was the closest one could get to living the movie. 3D movies died down after the 1970s, occasionally coming out of their caves to remind the movie-going public what they were missing without plastic 3D glasses (which, by the way, do nothing to the everyday items in our world; it merely bathes them in a sickly reddish-bluish color). Everyone seemed to be consoled that the 3D movie craze was over. Then, in the last couple years, 3D movies magically appeared in theaters and on movie screens. Maybe it was the strange obsession with having movies in IMAX, or maybe it was the need to find something new and exciting, and since there is nothing “new” in the world of entertainment, the old had to be re-hashed. It seems that every animated movie that is coming out this year is also in 3D. Some are filmed to highlight the 3D effect, such as the recently released Monsters vs. Aliens. This is a neutral gift from the days of yore, since on the one hand it makes watching the movie without the 3D glasses slightly surreal, yet on the other hand, with the glasses it is freaking awesome itself.
2. Skinny Jeans – Grant it, girls have been wearing skinny jeans for a long time. In that sense, they have never gone out of style since their creation. I’m more concerned with the more recent phenomenon of boys wearing skinnies. Haven’t seen it anywhere, save for gay men? Well, one of my students, a boy, has taken it upon himself to start a fashion revolution. This boy has worn skinny jeans to every single dress down day this year. One of those days (I believe it was St. Patrick’s Day, of all days), he wore purple ones. Note to all men: When girls ask you where you got your pants, with interest of purchasing a similar pair, it is time to seek new clothes.
3. Gas prices – Holy Crap! Our gas prices have reached CRAZY high prices, to the point where there has been crowding around the cheapest stations. Now, I wasn’t alive then, but I saw the signs and pictures, and have heard the stories of how there was a similar problem, oh I don’t know, in the 1970s. Now is not the time, my fellow Americans, to buy a gas guzzling monster truck. Now is the time to buy a more energy efficient car. Or, God forbid, walk or bike ride, or ride a bus, or a metro, or WALK! Gas prices might get higher, but so might the college students if they legalize pot. There are other things to do with our panic.
4. A Democrat is our President – After 8 years, the Dems have taken over the highest office in the nation. Not only is it a Democrat (not an evil in itself, mind you), but it is a FLAMING LIBERAL SOCIALIST! There, I said it. There is no middle ground when you ignore the other side. Yeah, how’s your Hope and Change working out for you, eh? If Good Ol’ Jimmy Carter was here. . . Oh well. But wait, there’s more. Our current president ran on a platform against the previous president, and won the heart of the trusting nation, including almost everyone I work with, as well as almost every parent at the school. So too was the case in the ‘70s, when the Dems charmed the common man. History repeats itself again. Is that really change we can believe in?
5. We are involved in unpopular foreign conflicts –
6. Bob Dylan has a new album out – Speaking of protest singers, Bob Dylan has released a new album. Now, this album isn’t necessarily filled with protest songs, but the fact that Mr. Dylan is still making music reminds one of the 1970s, for sure.
As you can see, there are several points in defense of my thesis. As a final note, I will remind you that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat its mistakes.
I will take any questions from the audience.
Friday, April 10, 2009
"Good Friday"
I began writing this poem a couple of weeks ago, when my students were taking their TerraNova testing. It is based on the Stations of the Cross. I will probably make it better later, but for now, I'll post what I have written. Think T. S. Eliot.
“Good Friday”
- Matthew B. Rose
Deus meus, Deus meus,
O Lord, save us, save us,
Through your mercy
Save us.
Adam, see what you started,
Eve, see what you did,
All your sins, and yours and mine,
He was somehow able to forgive.
Hear that sound, it is a gong,
A solitary steady song,
Hear it signal the end of strife,
And the beginning of our newer life.
I
There is anger in your eyes
Wrath unbridled
Betrayed and shaken by their lies
Truth defiled.
Peace to you is all I say
Hope so willing
Serenity please, I pray
Pain o’er spilling
Heart still hoping,
Head still bleeding
Love o’er flowing
II
The other day, when we were walking
(we are almost out of time)
I remember you said something serious
(jokingly, of course, of course)
something about a kingdom
(my kingdom for a horse?)
maybe it was something else
(what about hands)
that’s it, I remember
(The
III
A man lays broken
Words unspoken
A priceless token
Freely given
But still riven
And yet he looks up
Breathes
And gets up.
IV
“My Lord.” “My Lady fair.”
“Speak lover.”
“Purest Beloved: Do you remember,
long ago,
a gift and blessing from my Lord?”
“Your Lord?”
“The Lord.”
“I remember misty warmth and whispery words,
Some unspoken, all were heard.”
“And I?”
“The Gift.”
“As well I do remember. His presence made present.”
“A Gift for all seasons.”
“I love you, mommy.”
“I miss you.”
“And I you, but remember,
I make all things new.”
V
My God, My God,
Why am I here?
Why the tortures
Horrors
Grimly I fear
This Dies Irae
It seems so dark
Lonely, lonesome
O God, where are you?
Answer Me!
VI
Come, all you who pass by.
Can you hear them moan and sigh?
Hot tears, bitter tears,
All your fears,
All those years,
Were they a waste?
I will not let it be a waste.
Here, man, if you will not turn back,
Here is a piece of my own slack,
What I should have been doing,
Hopefully, by this penance proving,
You Lord, are not alone.
VII
I can see Him now, coming up this way,
Murmuring words no man can say.
Worming his way along the path,
He trusted all, all for their worth
Broken, bleeding, he heard their pleading
A mother in love, a Father above,
Spittle flying, Love is dying.
I hear crying.
O My Lord.
See Him bearing, loving, sharing,
Falling, stalling, sighing, rising.
VIII
Mommy, who’s that man?
Why is he sighing?
Mommy, who’s that lady?
Why is she crying?
Mommy, who’s that man?
Why is she bleeding?
Mommy, who are these ladies?
Why are they weeping?
Why are you weeping?
Mommy?
Mommy?
IX
Why doesn’t he stay there?
It’s good for him, the old dusty air.
Kings of Kings have trodden here,
Holding dear
Sacred relics of God and Man,
Keeping them hidden, doing what they can to help God.
No, this man won’t enjoy the dirt.
He will not rest, His loins are girt.
Spit now, hit him hard,
Split his back, make it shards
Of broken glass.
This stubborn ass
Is making me mad.
Let’s kill him here, it’s not that bad
No.
Go.
We are to see he makes it there.
Executions are really not fair,
Working hard, little pay,
Hearing convicts whine half the day
Well, now he’s getting up.
Marcus, hand me that cup.
I’ll splash some water on his face.
No man earned such a disgrace.
And on we go; no we’ll see
What Hell awaits us on top of
X
My pretty bird, sing for me.
My, what beautiful feathers,
What beautiful fetters.
I’ll take them off you,
And your feathers too.
My bird, my worm, dove turned to dirt.
Aww, you cry. I’ll wipe your face.
The back of my hand cleans that disgrace.
Foolish man, you are nothing now.
(Put me down for five and seven)
Weep man, cry out.
What is with him?
Get the nails, get the hammer.
I lost his robe, but I got some cloth.
Cloth for dusting, good ol’ dusting.
Ashes to ashes; dust from dust.
XI
“My friends, you are my closest ones.
You alone I can trust.
You are my closest companions,
James, here, you have some dust
Stuck to your shirt,
There, cleaned off the dirt.
My three friends,
Peter, James, and John,
Are closer to me than the rising sun.
I tell you this, so that you might have faith,
When all your hope falls under the weight
Of the coming sorrow.
I will die, come back, and leave.
Yes, I have a trick up my sleeve.
But after I’m gone, I warn you of danger,
I tell you now, to calm your anger.
James, you first will give up your life,
Bowing your head at a glorified knife.
Peter, you too will give me your all,
But your body will rise, not fall.
John, you will be tortured and burnt,
But you will die old, and tell all you learnt.
This I tell you, to prepare your heart,
So you remember this when I depart.”
I remember his words, and his sweet thoughts,
But would never expect this horror, this rot,
This evil to innocence. What did he do
To deserve such evil for speaking truth?
I see the nails, I hear the sound.
I can count his bones, his body sinks down.
I cannot bear to look at him, but I can’t stop.
I’ll watch his family drop
To the ground and pray,
Here at the cross I will stay.
XII
+ Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.
I’m not saying they aren’t culpable,
But they don’t know better.
They choose this evil, but they don’t know why.
Working through them? Lord, I understand.
So forgive them their part, Lord, if they are willing.
Not my will, though, but Thine.
+ This day you will be with me in
I know you, brother, I know you are sorry.
I’ve seen your face before, my friend,
And I know you know who I Am.
Thank you for the sympathies,
I’m indebted to you.
For you, I give a gift of gifts,
Salvation for your sorrow.
Come, baptized in blood,
Into your reward.
+ Woman, behold your son; Man, behold your mother.
Mom.
John.
I need you both to be strong.
I know you understand, both of you.
You are my family, the ones who stayed.
So mommy, I give you my friend.
Friend, you are my new brother.
Yet not just you, you know that by now,
But all, from now to the end,
All who bow and pray and praise the glory
Of this sacrifice.
Mommy, you are their mother.
John, you are their brother.
Be with each other as mother and brother,
Parent and Son.
+ I thirst.
I can’t feel my throat. It burns.
It is yours, O Lord.
I need to finish this. Lord, help me.
So thirsty. So dry.
+ My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?
I am this Psalm, and I start it now.
I finish it Lord, to glorify your name.
Help me,
Keep me,
Take me.
I have been the worm.
I have had my hands and feet pierced.
I can count all my bones.
They circle under me, like a pack of dogs.
How accurately is the prediction!
How thorough the fulfillment.
To the Greater Glory of God.
+ It is Finished.
I have fought the good fight,
I have done Your will.
The Passover is complete,
I have drunken the last cup.
This is my Last Will and Testament.
This is it. This is the Point of No Return.
I can do no more.
+ Into Your hands I command my Spirit
You have redeemed me, O Faithful God.
XIII
He’s dead? Already?
I was sure he would remain,
A living human stain,
Hanging up there, he should have been good
For another few hours of gory food.
I cannot believe this news.
You are sure? You saw it too?
Really?
Fine.
Do what you will. Take him down.
Let him be buried or thrown
Out. Get rid of the body. I see
Nothing more to this man’s story.
He’s dead and gone,
He’s dead and gone.
XIV
I am here, watching the hole,
Filled with a rock and still
There is danger, stupid anger.
I heard him speak once;
He was very good. Like a god.
Maybe he was a god.
Maybe he was God.
So we killed God and buried him in a hole.
He’s in the earth, dust to dust.
Dirty man, rotting away.
And here I sit and do nothing.
His friends, his followers,
They pray, they hope.
For what?
Maybe this isn’t the end after all.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The gift that keeps on giving
Time for an Obama rant. No, I'm not gonna talk about how he is going out of his way to attack life, nor an I gonna talk about how I don't want to help pay for the trillions of dollars we don't have to save our economy (it really doesn't make sense). I'm going to talk about foreign policy. It doesn't involve Iraq or any other war zone. It involves an ally, England, and Obama's treatment of the country since coming to office.
Foreign relations is an important part of any presidency, but it is pertinent when it is with an ally. Britain is our good ally friend. We have worked well together throughout the 20th century, and have continued this fruitful relationship into the new millennium. It would make sense, then, to keep being nice and thoughtful to this Father nation of ours.
If your predecessor was given a gift in a time of strife, would you return it when the strife was over? Ok, let's put it this way. Say you are a teacher at an elementry school, teaching 3rd grade. You retire, and leave behind a statue of Mozart, a gift from one of the other teachers, in your room. It was a special gift, but you figured it served its purpose better in the room with other 3rd graders.
This is the situation for George W. Bush, President Obama, and a bust of Winston Churchill. We need to go back to the time following the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Then British Prime Minister Tony Blair gave the President Bush a bust of Winston Churchill, the great British statesman who worked hard with America to solve the problems of the early 20th century. The gift was put on desplay in the White House, a token of friendship between nations, so that any British or American citizen who was in the White House would know of the friendship between the countries. It is similar to the Statue of Liberty.
Here's where Obama comes in. Upon taking office, Obama returned the bust to Britain. He did not give it to Bush as a farewell present, or keep it on display. He returned it to its sender.
Is it just me, or is that kinda rude. BUT that's not all.
A few days ago, the new Prime Minister of Britain, Gordon Brown, came to visit Obama, gearing up for the G20 meeting. Obama, as is customary in all parts of the world, had some gifts for his guest (if you don't think that gift giving for guests is customary, think of it this way: you offer guests something to eat. That is a gift. QED). For the Prime Minister, the Obama's gave a collection of 25 American DVDs, including The Wizard of Oz, ET, and Star Wars.
I hope he didn't give him The Patriot or Braveheart.
I think this is the list, but I'm not sure. It may be a fake.
The gifts to the Brown children were not too exciting. The Obamas gave the two Brown sons each a model of Marine One, the President's helicopter.
In comparison, Prime Minister Brown gave President Obama an ornate pen holder made from the wood of the HMS Gannet, an anti-slavery ship that sailed the Atlantic during the 1800s. What makes this gift particularly special is that the sister ship of the HMS Gannet, the HMS Resolute, was used to make the large wood desk in the Oval Office back in the 1880s. Mr. Obama also received, in the words of The Daily Mail (the British paper that reported this story), "a framed commission for HMS Resolute and a first edition of the seven-volume biography of Churchill by Sir Martin Gilbert. "
I wonder if the Churchill biography is a backhanded gift. Reject the bust, take the biography.
The Obama girls each recieved an outfit from Topshop, a British clothing line, and six books by British authors which have not yet been published in America.
I like those gifts. I wish I had gotten them. If President Obama is reading this: CAN I HAVE YOUR GIFTS???? I mean, its better than returning to the senders.
So what have we learned here? Is it time to bash Obama? Is this time for ad hominem attacks?
Nope. It's time for the moral of the story:
Don't let the Obama's go Christmas shopping for you.
Foreign relations is an important part of any presidency, but it is pertinent when it is with an ally. Britain is our good ally friend. We have worked well together throughout the 20th century, and have continued this fruitful relationship into the new millennium. It would make sense, then, to keep being nice and thoughtful to this Father nation of ours.
If your predecessor was given a gift in a time of strife, would you return it when the strife was over? Ok, let's put it this way. Say you are a teacher at an elementry school, teaching 3rd grade. You retire, and leave behind a statue of Mozart, a gift from one of the other teachers, in your room. It was a special gift, but you figured it served its purpose better in the room with other 3rd graders.
This is the situation for George W. Bush, President Obama, and a bust of Winston Churchill. We need to go back to the time following the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Then British Prime Minister Tony Blair gave the President Bush a bust of Winston Churchill, the great British statesman who worked hard with America to solve the problems of the early 20th century. The gift was put on desplay in the White House, a token of friendship between nations, so that any British or American citizen who was in the White House would know of the friendship between the countries. It is similar to the Statue of Liberty.
Here's where Obama comes in. Upon taking office, Obama returned the bust to Britain. He did not give it to Bush as a farewell present, or keep it on display. He returned it to its sender.
Is it just me, or is that kinda rude. BUT that's not all.
A few days ago, the new Prime Minister of Britain, Gordon Brown, came to visit Obama, gearing up for the G20 meeting. Obama, as is customary in all parts of the world, had some gifts for his guest (if you don't think that gift giving for guests is customary, think of it this way: you offer guests something to eat. That is a gift. QED). For the Prime Minister, the Obama's gave a collection of 25 American DVDs, including The Wizard of Oz, ET, and Star Wars.
I hope he didn't give him The Patriot or Braveheart.
I think this is the list, but I'm not sure. It may be a fake.
The gifts to the Brown children were not too exciting. The Obamas gave the two Brown sons each a model of Marine One, the President's helicopter.
In comparison, Prime Minister Brown gave President Obama an ornate pen holder made from the wood of the HMS Gannet, an anti-slavery ship that sailed the Atlantic during the 1800s. What makes this gift particularly special is that the sister ship of the HMS Gannet, the HMS Resolute, was used to make the large wood desk in the Oval Office back in the 1880s. Mr. Obama also received, in the words of The Daily Mail (the British paper that reported this story), "a framed commission for HMS Resolute and a first edition of the seven-volume biography of Churchill by Sir Martin Gilbert. "
I wonder if the Churchill biography is a backhanded gift. Reject the bust, take the biography.
The Obama girls each recieved an outfit from Topshop, a British clothing line, and six books by British authors which have not yet been published in America.
I like those gifts. I wish I had gotten them. If President Obama is reading this: CAN I HAVE YOUR GIFTS???? I mean, its better than returning to the senders.
So what have we learned here? Is it time to bash Obama? Is this time for ad hominem attacks?
Nope. It's time for the moral of the story:
Don't let the Obama's go Christmas shopping for you.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
MQ. . . WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?
So, if you have been following this blog at all (Ok, that might not be fair, but anyway), you know that I am a HUGE MonsterQuest fan. So you know when I say I am not happy with the direction an episode takes, or if I think an episode is odd, you know I mean it.
Right? No? Bueller?
Anyway.
The point behind MonsterQuest (at least, I felt, the first season's purpose) is to investigate stories of sightings of cryptids (hidden animal creatures, like Bigfoot, Nessie, and the ilk). Season One was very interesting, and there were several episodes where some evidence was found, either for or against the cryptid's claim. Even the one episode that was kinda lame that season, the Rods episode, was interesting, and I feel that they did a good job disproving the claims made by Rod supporters. Eitherway, the show focussed on Cryptozoology and investigations in that field.
Season Two was also very interesting, although some of the episodes were not really in the same field as others (the Super Rats one was more humorous than suspenseful episodes). This was also the season that broke from the search for hidden animals (Cryptozoology) into a more paranormal world. This was shown in two episodes, one dealing with Ghosts and one dealing with Vampires. Even those episodes, however, had exact targets (or prey, if you will) that the investigators were hunting. They were looking for ghosts in that house. They were looking at a particular person to see if they were a vampire. There was still the immediate hunt.
Season Three, at least so far, as broken the trend a bit. The second episode this season deals with Cattle Mutilations, the strange phenomenon of cows and other livestock randomly appearing overnight in fields, cut open with particular organs removed, almost as if a person did not do it. An interesting phenomenon, yes, but not one that deals with Cryptozoology in particular. And, for the first time, there was not an exact prey. They were not hunting an exact creature, but were more just looking at mutilations and wondering what they were and what caused them. An interesting idea for UFO Hunters, another show on History, but not MonsterQuest.
Also disappointing, though now I'm just being picky, deals with last night's episode dealing with the New Jersey Devil, who has been around for about 250 years. They tried to connect the NJ Devil, which looks like this:
with the Montauk Monster, which I posted about earlier on this blog, back in August. The Montauk monster looks like this:
As you can see, it doesn't exactly look like the Jersey Devil. In fact, it doesn't look much like it at all.
So I ask MonsterQuest, "WHY? HOW?"
Sigh. I guess I'm just being picky. I'm still gonna watch the show though. The next episode is about Alligators in Sewers. Fun.
Right? No? Bueller?
Anyway.
The point behind MonsterQuest (at least, I felt, the first season's purpose) is to investigate stories of sightings of cryptids (hidden animal creatures, like Bigfoot, Nessie, and the ilk). Season One was very interesting, and there were several episodes where some evidence was found, either for or against the cryptid's claim. Even the one episode that was kinda lame that season, the Rods episode, was interesting, and I feel that they did a good job disproving the claims made by Rod supporters. Eitherway, the show focussed on Cryptozoology and investigations in that field.
Season Two was also very interesting, although some of the episodes were not really in the same field as others (the Super Rats one was more humorous than suspenseful episodes). This was also the season that broke from the search for hidden animals (Cryptozoology) into a more paranormal world. This was shown in two episodes, one dealing with Ghosts and one dealing with Vampires. Even those episodes, however, had exact targets (or prey, if you will) that the investigators were hunting. They were looking for ghosts in that house. They were looking at a particular person to see if they were a vampire. There was still the immediate hunt.
Season Three, at least so far, as broken the trend a bit. The second episode this season deals with Cattle Mutilations, the strange phenomenon of cows and other livestock randomly appearing overnight in fields, cut open with particular organs removed, almost as if a person did not do it. An interesting phenomenon, yes, but not one that deals with Cryptozoology in particular. And, for the first time, there was not an exact prey. They were not hunting an exact creature, but were more just looking at mutilations and wondering what they were and what caused them. An interesting idea for UFO Hunters, another show on History, but not MonsterQuest.
Also disappointing, though now I'm just being picky, deals with last night's episode dealing with the New Jersey Devil, who has been around for about 250 years. They tried to connect the NJ Devil, which looks like this:
with the Montauk Monster, which I posted about earlier on this blog, back in August. The Montauk monster looks like this:
As you can see, it doesn't exactly look like the Jersey Devil. In fact, it doesn't look much like it at all.
So I ask MonsterQuest, "WHY? HOW?"
Sigh. I guess I'm just being picky. I'm still gonna watch the show though. The next episode is about Alligators in Sewers. Fun.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Oscars
I did something I have never done before the other night (Sunday). I watched the Oscars.
I know what you're thinking. Ibid! You love movies, and you've never watch the Oscars? Well yes, the answer is that I have not watch the Oscars before Sunday night.
But now I have. One more check off the "TO DO" list. One more thing to say I've done, and lived to tell about it.
Here is my telling.
It was a fairly entertaining show. Hugh Jackman did a fine job hosting. He showcased his talents (literally dancing and singing, all while wearing a full tux!) and did what he had to do to win the hearts of the audience. They did something kinda cool this year, with older winners of the acting categories presenting the awards to this year's winners. For example, in the Best Actor category, past winners of the Best Actor category said some words to the nominees, and then they announced the winner. It was kinda cool, just looking at the history behind the movies. Also cool was the way they set up most of the awards. They presented the awards in the creative order that a movie goes through, i. e., starting with a screenplay, moving to cinematography, sets and costumes, special effects, and then ending up with the final categories: Actor, Actress, and Picture. It was neat; a bit odd, but neat.
Good Parts
Bad Parts
Other than that, I enjoyed the show. Hope its good next year too.
I know what you're thinking. Ibid! You love movies, and you've never watch the Oscars? Well yes, the answer is that I have not watch the Oscars before Sunday night.
But now I have. One more check off the "TO DO" list. One more thing to say I've done, and lived to tell about it.
Here is my telling.
It was a fairly entertaining show. Hugh Jackman did a fine job hosting. He showcased his talents (literally dancing and singing, all while wearing a full tux!) and did what he had to do to win the hearts of the audience. They did something kinda cool this year, with older winners of the acting categories presenting the awards to this year's winners. For example, in the Best Actor category, past winners of the Best Actor category said some words to the nominees, and then they announced the winner. It was kinda cool, just looking at the history behind the movies. Also cool was the way they set up most of the awards. They presented the awards in the creative order that a movie goes through, i. e., starting with a screenplay, moving to cinematography, sets and costumes, special effects, and then ending up with the final categories: Actor, Actress, and Picture. It was neat; a bit odd, but neat.
Good Parts
- Slumdog Millionaire pretty much sweeped the show, winning Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Screenplay, as well as a bunch of other ones. It's always nice when smaller, independent films beat up the "Made for Oscar" movies like Milk or The Reader. Plus it looks like the movie has heart, which is always a good thing to have in a Best Picture winner.
- Heath Ledger won for The Dark Knight. If he had not won, I might have given up the movie award system for the rets of my life. He literally kicked butt in his role (as everyone knows, his last big one before his death) and well deserved his reward. Few performances this year could top his transformation.
- Man on Wire won for best documentary. Despite its random sex scene, this was not only the most interesting documentary movie I think I've ever seen, it was one of the more facinating movies I saw this year.
Bad Parts
- Sean Penn won for Milk. Now, I'm sure Milk is a good movie, and I'm even more sure that Sean Penn did an award worthy job playing the title character. The problems were thus: When you have an actor who took a role not because it was a great character, but because he wants to prove a point, you inevitably get an acceptance speech that is part sermon. Sean Penn is a classic Hollywood liberal. Remember, this is one of the people who went down to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina to bash Bush. His acceptance speech at the Oscars was no different. After thanking some friends ("you commie, homo-loving sons of guns"), etc, he proceeded to speak to those who voted against Proposition 8 in the most recent election. (Proposition 8, for those who don't know, was the chance for the voters of California to vote on whether or not they wanted marriage between homosexuals to be legal. The result of the election proved that the majority of Californians do not support gay marriage, much to the shock and horrification of Hollywood. End of digression.) Shame on you, he told the voting public of California, for your hatred and bigotry. It was not the time or the place for such a speech, and not just myself but many fans of films are offended not as much with the content, but with the arrogance that Mr. Penn demonstrated.
Other than that, I enjoyed the show. Hope its good next year too.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
VOLSUNGASAGA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Besides the fact that that word means absolutely nothing to some of you. . .
How many of you have heard of J. R. R. Tolkien? Good, put your hands down. He's the guy who wrote The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, etc. Well, what a lot of people don't know is that he was also a great medieval literary scholar. In fact, he was one of the most influential contributors to the study of Beowulf, the Old English poem of monsters and heroes.
That's part one of what you need to know. Here's the second part.
There is an Old Norse saga called Volsungasaga (The Saga of the Volsungs) which involves a hero (Sigurd) slaying a dragon (Fafnir) and taking the cursed gold, ending up in the middle of the most epic Medieval cat fight, and tragically dies. Tolkien encountered the story at a young age in the form of Andrew Lang's Fairy Books. He incorporated the story into his fantasy literature (the legend involves dragons, a cursed ring, and other motifs Tolkien adapted) and always considered it a great work, listing Fafnir as the only other true dragon in medieval literature, next to the one that is in Beowulf.
Now for the exciting part. Remember how I said the saga is in Old Norse. Well. . .
TOLKIEN TRANSLATED IT!!!! AND THE BOOK FORM OF THE TRANSLATION IS COMING OUT IN MAY!!!!!!!!
Check out the website.
I had never heard of the translation before, which is surprising, given all the detail I went into in my thesis. Noting that Tolkien translated the work would have been worthy of note.
But anyway, I WANT TO BUY THE BOOK!!!!!!!
Just to let you know. . .
How many of you have heard of J. R. R. Tolkien? Good, put your hands down. He's the guy who wrote The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, etc. Well, what a lot of people don't know is that he was also a great medieval literary scholar. In fact, he was one of the most influential contributors to the study of Beowulf, the Old English poem of monsters and heroes.
That's part one of what you need to know. Here's the second part.
There is an Old Norse saga called Volsungasaga (The Saga of the Volsungs) which involves a hero (Sigurd) slaying a dragon (Fafnir) and taking the cursed gold, ending up in the middle of the most epic Medieval cat fight, and tragically dies. Tolkien encountered the story at a young age in the form of Andrew Lang's Fairy Books. He incorporated the story into his fantasy literature (the legend involves dragons, a cursed ring, and other motifs Tolkien adapted) and always considered it a great work, listing Fafnir as the only other true dragon in medieval literature, next to the one that is in Beowulf.
Now for the exciting part. Remember how I said the saga is in Old Norse. Well. . .
TOLKIEN TRANSLATED IT!!!! AND THE BOOK FORM OF THE TRANSLATION IS COMING OUT IN MAY!!!!!!!!
Check out the website.
I had never heard of the translation before, which is surprising, given all the detail I went into in my thesis. Noting that Tolkien translated the work would have been worthy of note.
But anyway, I WANT TO BUY THE BOOK!!!!!!!
Just to let you know. . .
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I've seen 103 out of 241 films
[I got this from Facebook, but I figured I would have a wider readership here. Besides, the posts become notes on Facebook, so posting here covers all my friends. Enjoy!]
SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 241 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own facebook account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom.
( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At Worlds End
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
( ) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 7
(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Anchorman
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
( ) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 12
( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 13
( ) Harry Potter 1
( ) Harry Potter 2
( ) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 16
(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
() Robots
Total so far:20
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far:24
( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 29
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 31
( ) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
(x) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 37
(x) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x ) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x ) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremacy
(x) Bourne Ultimatum
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 44
( x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss’s Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so 51
( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 59
(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Spider-Man 3
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 71
( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
(x) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(x) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 74
(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
(x) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Total so far: 81
( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
( ) Highlander
(x) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 83
( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 87
( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian
(x) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
Total so far: 91
(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 94
(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 100
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
( ) The Matrix Revolutions
( )Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal
Total so far: 103
Now Add them up and...
Put "I've seen… out of 241 films" in the subject line and repost it
SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 241 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own facebook account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom.
( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At Worlds End
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
( ) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 7
(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Anchorman
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
( ) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 12
( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 13
( ) Harry Potter 1
( ) Harry Potter 2
( ) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 16
(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
() Robots
Total so far:20
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far:24
( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 29
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 31
( ) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
(x) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 37
(x) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x ) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x ) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremacy
(x) Bourne Ultimatum
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 44
( x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss’s Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so 51
( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 59
(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Spider-Man 3
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 71
( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
(x) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(x) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 74
(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
(x) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Total so far: 81
( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
( ) Highlander
(x) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 83
( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 87
( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian
(x) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
Total so far: 91
(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 94
(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 100
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
( ) The Matrix Revolutions
( )Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal
Total so far: 103
Now Add them up and...
Put "I've seen… out of 241 films" in the subject line and repost it
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