“The Most Humble Man on Earth”

I finally wrote it this morning. I know I promised I would write it last semester, during finals week, and then the day after finals, but that never happened. I blame billiards.

So tell me what you think. Its supposed to be funny, so tell me if it is.

“The Most Humble Man on Earth”

By Matthew B. Rose

I’m the most humble man on earth.

Of all men stripped of noble birth

And left to wander the streets at night,

With only a forsaken birth right,

I am the most humble.

I am more holy than a pious priest

Who wages wars with spiritual beasts,

And says his prayers at night before bed,

And strikes his breast, and bows his head,

For he lacks my great humility,

For I am the most humble.

I am mightier than the greatest king,

President, sultan, or other such thing,

Who leads his country from sin and vice,

Hearing whispers of others’ advice,

And shows the advisor as the man

Who thought up that awesome saving plan;

Such great men are mere pish-pash,

Since I am much more humble.

I am more beautiful than the moon,

Reflected near in a child’s spoon.

For the moon steals from the sun

And from theft his light becomes

The source for light in dark night,

And takes the sun’s greater might

And shoves it in his burning face.

Such things cause my heart to race,

For I know I’m more humble.

So for all those whose hearts descend,

Frowning because I am so grand,

Rest assured when you see me pass,

That you are only next to last,

And that you have been greatly blest

And can tonight in your bed rest,

Because you saw my humble face,

That which God could never replace,

That face of incredible birth,

Of the most humble man on earth.